The earth has not managed to swallow me into the abyss...
nor has the sea engulfed me with its raging storms.
I have fled from the law and escaped the arena.
I've even stained my hands with blood...
only to end up here, destitute...
exiled from my country, abandoned!
And who condemned me to be alone?
Someone who bears the mark of all known vices...
who should be banished by his own admission.
Ascyltus!
A young man who gained his freedom, and now keeps it, through whoring.
Who gambled away his youth.
Who sold himself as a woman, even when he'd be approached as a man.
And that tart Giton?
On the Day of the Virile Toga he wore a woman's stole.
His mother had already convinced him not to act like a man.
In jail he was a whore...
capable of forsaking the oldest of friendships.
Shame on him. He's a disgrace!
And now, holding each other in their arms...
they spend entire nights together...
and laugh at me.
But I swear it won't end like this.
I loved you, Giton, and I still do.
I can't share you with others, because you're a part of me.
You are me, you're my soul.
My soul belongs to you.
You're the sun, you're the sea, you're the gods.
The triumphant Ascyltus escaped with his prey.
I must find you no matter what...
or I'm no longer a man!
Ascyltus!
Encolpius is looking for me. He wants revenge.
I took his little friend away with a scheming trick.
He deserved to be tricked...
the back alley murderer...
who, like a bird of prey, is ready to steal anything shiny.
While he slept, drunk with wine...
I took Giton out from under him...
and spent the sweetest of nights with him.
Friendship can last only as long as it's convenient.
That's what I think.
At first the boy tried to deny me his flower.
Maybe he wanted to sleep.
But I drew my sword and told him...
"If you're Lucretia, you've found your Tarquin."
Today a famous actor.. a who-doesn't-know-him?..
offered to buy him.
At the sight of money I gave up my little slave.
Then, while I was walking around the city, a fine older gentleman...
approached me and brought me here to the baths.
In a dark corner he started to touch me. He was so insistent!
But I see Encolpius coming, livid with anger.
I'll have to defend myself or run away.
Looking for me, Encolpius?
Here I am.
Where's Giton?
Where is Giton?
-I'll kill you, you whore. -I sold him.
-Where is Giton? -I sold him to Vernacchio, the actor.
Applaud, applaud, applaud.
And with this I punish my erring arm.
Who is more fortunate than we are?
We get to see our divine Caesar's new miracle.
Come!
Caesar, with his great soul...
and Eros, with his thousand charms, came down to Earth.
Vernacchio...
I denounce you in front of everyone.
You must stop your performance.
Oh, we have a master! Now we have a master, too!
That boy is mine. You must give him back to me.
Are you a cavalier? A senator?
Come on up, my handsome young man.
Vernacchio's home is hospitable to everyone.
Come on...
Wait.
First I want you to meet my family...
and my slaves...
watch out for the dog!
Giton, hurry, let's go.
But he's beautiful! And those muscles!
He cost me 35 denari.
A suckling pig weighing the same would cost a lot more!
Listen, Vernacchio...
I know you're a famous actor...
and I've just seen some of your many talents...
but I repeat, the boy is mine.
That bastard who sold him to you wasn't authorized to do so.
I ask you not to appeal to the magistrate. It's useless.
Giton will be leaving with me.
I'll buy the boy for 40 sesterces.
45 sesterces from me!
For 60 I'll buy the boy.
Sir, this boy is more than a wife.
And what free citizen would sell his wife?
He's neat, he's wise.
I always come home to a lighted fire.
And I'm training him in the great art of the stage.
You'll see how well he'll play female roles...
Helen of Menelaus, faithful Penelope, Cornelia.
Such a treasure has no price!
I'll give you what you paid for him, and no more!
Giton is leaving with me.
No, never!
Vernacchio, your behavior has become intolerable.
We've already punished you once for joking about Caesar...
but you continue to stir up trouble!
Let the young man have his slave back...
or tomorrow I'll burn down your theatre.
It's not true that Vernacchio...
Watch out, Vernacchio, we're tired of your arrogance.
Please, sir, I beg you, don't destroy my theatre. I beg you!
Vernacchio is meek, Vernacchio is obedient...
Caesar knows that!
Look who's here.
Calpurnia, where do we live?
What do you mean, where? Here, my beautiful boys.
There he is.
Come on, let's go see the little sisters. Come on, come on.
Come here, come on!
This is a lucky day for you.
You wanted a fertile bride?
The reddish-brown color of this liver...
says this woman is pregnant.
Hold on, "Blue Eyes." Have you heard of me?
Everywhere. You're quite famous.
Giton...
So, my old friend...
what's this?
One tent for the two of you?
Listen, Ascyltus, it's too hard to go back to being friends.
So, let's divide up our shared property...
and try to be more fortunate. We'll go our separate ways.
You're still studying... So am I.
We're becoming the laughing stock of the whole city.
Why did you run off today while we were speaking to the master?
What else could I do? I was starving.
I don't want to stand in the way of your plans...
so to avoid competing with you, I'll go my own way.
Fine, so let's divide our things.
That's mine, and so is this.
The mirror...is mine.
That's mine!
And now, let's divide up the boy.
Ascyltus, you must be joking.
Let's let him decide.
With you.
Ganymede...
Narcissus...
Apollo, who turned the young man's shadow into a flower.
All the myths speak to us of love...
of unrivalled unions.
But I took into my heart a cruel guest.
I'm a poet.
You might ask, "Why are you dressed so poorly?"
Precisely the point...
A passion for art never made anyone rich.
I don't know why, but poverty is always a sister to genius.
My name is Eumolpus.
The masterpieces you see in this gallery confirm our current lack of energy.
Today no one would know how to paint like this.
So what brought on this sad state?
The desire for money!
Once upon a time, man's ideal was virtue, pure and simple.
That's why the liberal arts flourished.
Eudoxus grew old on a mountain studying the movement of the planets.
Lysippus kept drawing the same model his whole life...
and died of hunger.
But we, with our drinking and whoring...
don't even know the masterpieces that exist now.
What about dialectical discussion?
What happened to astronomy?
Where is philosophy that once led the way for us?
Don't be surprised that the art of painting is dead...
when now we find more beauty in a pot of gold...
than in the works of Apelles or Phydias.
Those crazy Greeks!
His land provides everything:
wool, lemon, peppers:
Looking for hen's milk? He'll have it:
What was it like before?
Believe me, you wouldn't have taken apiece of bread from him:
Now he's so rich, even he doesn 't know how much he has:
And, he thinks he's a poet!
But there isn't a drop of poetry in his verses.
And do you know what this bastard calls me?
"Colleague", "Brother"...
"Soul mates", he says.
At his table I have the best seat.
I drink his wine, not what he serves the other guests.
You've escaped torture because you're a Roman citizen...
but you'll get a beating from my own slaves!
Your mouth is a cesspool!
You'll be flogged and your back broken, you dog!
I've already broken the back of that pimp son of yours.
I'll throw you in jail!
You ought to be hanged!
Never mind, even Venus was cross-eyed.
Eumolpus, you've come, too, brother.
Your presence fills me with emotion...
because you're like me.
-You're too kind. -A talented man.
We poets have a true friendship.
And who are you two?
You must try the wine.. do it honor.
Fish have to swim...
but thanks to the gods, I don't have to buy anything.
All of these delicious things come from my own property...
Whatever that is!
They say somewhere between Terracina and Taranto.
I must cross over to Sicily...
because I want to take a trip to Africa.
Whether on foot, on horseback, or on the sea...
I never want to leave my own property...
like "the ever-wandering Ulysses."
Did you like my quotation?
The classics fit in, even at the dinner table.
This is the first beard I shaved off.
I was fully-grown at 14.
And these are my household gods...
protectors of our properties.
Great Business, Great Satisfaction, and Great Profit...
May it please the gods.
-Which division are you from? -The 40th.
Born here, or did I buy you?
Neither. Pansa left me to you in his will.
Cook this well.
If you don't, I'll transfer you to the sweeping division.
There once were a rich man and a poor man who started fighting.
What is a poor man?
That's a good one!
I'm going to the pot.
The daylight is fading.
In the blink of an eye, it's night...
There's nothing better than rolling out of bed straight into dinner.
It's been so cold that a bath hardly warms me up.
People are less than flies, much less.
They have a certain resistance, at least, but we are nothing but bubbles.
"Here today, gone tomorrow," said the farmer who'd lost his speckled pig.
Lead turned to gold in his hands, his hair blacker than a crow.
He was over 70 and still going at it.
Even his dog wasn't safe around him!
What? You've already cooked it?
Without even gutting it?
And this is how you bring it to me? Call in the cook!
You cooked it whole...without gutting it?
Mercy, master, mercy!
Tie him up and whip him!
I made a mistake. Have mercy on me!
Pardon him, pardon him!
What are you waiting for, you wretch?
Gut it here, now!
How wonderful!
Thrushes, fatted hens, bird gizzards!
Sausage ropes...
tender plucked doves...
Snails, livers, ham, offal...
What's so funny?
Don't you like my master's extravagances?
Are you wealthier? Do you give better banquets?
Blockhead, scoundrel, tramp. You dare laugh?
Are you a cavalier? That would make me the emperor's son!
Did Papa buy you a goat?
I was laughing because it's funny.
You're not worth your own piss... and you stink!
Did you buy your freedom? I'm a freeman.
I feed 20 mouths and a dog.
I bought my wife's freedom...
and now no one can wipe his hands on her tits.
But what do you do?
-If you answer him, you'll just... -You're just a fart in the water...
Enough of this nonsense, Hermeros.
Have some patience.
The boy's young, and his blood is hot.
When you were a young cock, you crowed, too.
Give us some Homer! Begin!
I like to hear Greek while I'm eating.
Eumolpus, brother poet, do you understand the story?
Diomedes and Ganymede were brothers...
Helen was their sister. Agamemnon abducted her...
and Ajax went mad.
Eumolpus, sit down and empty a few more cups.
You mangy dogs!
You're nothing but slaves!
When did you ever pay 1/20 of your freedom?
Sewer whores!
Ass lickers! Shit eaters!
Eumolpus, take it easy.
We poets have a hard time of it...
Listen to a few verses I've written...
"The things you don't await
Are sent to you by fate.
And Fortune up on high Will cure us by and by.
Cupbearer, waste no time. Come pour us some more wine."
A new Horace.
There's a new Horace in our midst.
Go on and dance!
Don't make me angry... go on and dance!
OnJuly 26th, on Trimalchio's estate at Cumae...
30 boys and 40 girls were born...
The same day, the slave Eusebio crucified for insults against our master...
36 calves born...
Same day, a fire in Trimalchio's Pompeian orchards...
-Flames in the farmer's house... -What?
When did I buy orchards in Pompei?
Wine and hot water.
Sorry we're late. We were at a wake at Scissa's house.
One of his slaves died, and half of the drink...
had to be poured over the poor boy's bones.
Only you were missing.
Blood pudding, giblets...
a Spanish pastry with warm honey, one snail for each person...
and the main course, bear with goose eggs!
My wife ate so much of that dish...
that she threw it all up.
If bears can eat people...
why shouldn't people be able to..?
Hey, what is going on here?
I'll split your head open!
May I grow in wealth and not in weight...
If I don't cut your ears off when we get home.
How does that sound, Aruspicius?
That sound is clearer...
a sign of change.
Are you expecting anyone this weekend?
Try again.
I'm happy for you; this sounds good.
A very well-bred young boy who cheers up my life...
and fills me with satisfaction...
Come here. Don't you want to sit by me, right by your old uncle?
Have you ever seen such a sweet little creature?
I can't believe you're carrying on like this right in front of me!
You female pile of shit! I bought you at the slave market...
I turned you into a human being!
What are you talking about? You bought me?
Habinnas, take her statue out of my mausoleum...
Otherwise, we'll still be at each other when we're dead.
You battle-axe!
You're old and ugly...take that!
I built her a palace, but listen to her!
She's puffed-up like a frog!
But I'll make you bite your tongue!
I love the boy because he's clever, not because he's pretty.
He already can divide by ten, read a book on first sight...
and he bought a chair for himself.
Why are you still crying, you hag?
Just remember you owe all this luxurious living to me!
I endured my master's advances for 14 years.
What's wrong with that? The master gives the orders!
I entertained the mistress, too.
By the will of the gods I ended up sharing the Emperor's inheritance.
I built five ships and filled them with lard, perfume, and slaves.
That started my fortune:
everything I touched turned to gold.
I was a cockroach, now I'm a king. That's life.
Stichus, prepare my burial vestments and ointment...
and bring the wine for washing my bones.
Life passes like a shadow..
Sooner or later death will come to us all.
I just thought ofa poem.
Listen...
"On a stage a troupe performs a mime.
An actor plays the father, Another one plays the son,
A third plays the rich man But as soon as the show ends
The pretend faces vanish, The real ones return."
How's that for poetry, eh, Poet?
To tell you the truth...
you stole them from Lucretius.
-What do you mean, you vagabond? -"The pretend faces vanish...
the real ones return!"
That's Lucretius, that's Lucretius!
Enough! These verses are mine, you beggar!
I'm a poet, you're not. You don't write verses, you steal them!
Nonsense...throw him into the oven.
You vagrant! I fed you...
I lifted you out of the gutter.
I am the poet here!
Throw this ingrate into the oven!
I'll put you to shame in front of all those people.
I don't want to see him anymore, that dog...
that venomous snake! He's bad luck!
I'm a philosopher!
Clown, thief! Let me go!
Only a few emperors...
have had a mausoleum comparable to mine.
Apenna is creating a work of art...
It will all be covered with marble...
with a pediment over 120 feet high.
On the walls, Trimalchio's entire life...
And his ships, sails unfurled...
And his favorite puppy dog.
Listen to his epitaph:
"Here lies Gaius Pompeius Trimalchio.
A pious, strong, and faithful patron who came from nothing...
he left 30 million sesterces and never listened to a philosopher."
And the same be for you!
Act like you're guests at my funeral banquet.
Eat, drink, and remember me.
Call the musicians, and have them play something pretty.
Farewell...farewell...
There...I'm dead.
Gaius Pompeius Trimalchio... Mecenas...
A man so great is now dead.
I've lost my best friend.
Why didn't I die with him?
I want to give you a gift...
A bracelet of solid gold.
Look, he gave me this...it's gold!
Look, he gave me...
And me! You're forgetting me!
Please give me some earrings!
That's it! I'm not giving anyone anything!
No one has ever been able to tell us...
what the realm of the dead is like...
whereas we all know...
how much we like the realm of the living.
And who doesn't know the Matron of Ephesus's story?
There once was a beautiful young woman...
quite virtuous... who suddenly was widowed.
According to Greek custom, the husband's body:
was placed in the crypt:
but the honest and loyal widow wouldn't leave his side:
Night and days he kept vigil and cried:
and wanted to starve to death:
Everyone left:
only she remained there:
Not far from the tomb:
a thief sentenced to death had been hanged:
and a handsome soldier was keeping guard over him:
Why do you want to starve yourself to death?
What good would burying yourself alive do?
Drink something.
Come on, drink.
You must live...
Enjoy the delights of life while you can.
This very corpse here should convince you of that.
Be brave...drink...
They've stolen the hanged man!
While I was with you, the thief's family took him away.
I know what punishment I'll get...
a horrible death.
Why should I wait for it? I'd rather die by my own hands.
No, my dear... To lose the two men in my life...
one after the other, would be too much...
Better to hang a dead husband...
than to lose a living lover.
"Better to hang a dead husband...
than to lose a living lover."
Poets may die, Encolpius.
But it doesn't matter, if poetry remains.
My friend, companion of my final moments here...
You'll be able to say...
"I knew Eumolpus, the poet."
What can I say?
If I were as rich as Trimalchio, I'd leave you some land or a ship.
But I can only leave you what I had myself.
I leave you poetry. I leave you the seasons...
especially spring and summer...
I leave you the wind, the sun...
I leave you the sea, the good sea...
The earth is good, too...
The mountains, streams, and rivers...
And the big clouds that move by...
solemn and light...
You'll look at them...
and maybe remember our brief friendship...
And I leave you the trees...
and their agile inhabitants...
Love, tears, joy...
stars, Encolpius.
I leave you sounds, songs, noises...
The voice of man, which is the most harmonious of music...
I leave you...
I still see you before my eyes, Giton...
disgraceful weakness...
I still love you, even if you've abandoned me.
Can't you say anything?
You left me for another love.
Did I deserve such an insult?
My fellow prisoners informed me:
that we'd been captured by the terrible Lichas of Tarantum:
His friend Tryphaena and he:
combed the seas looking for precious objects:
to give pleasure to Caesar's lonely life on his island:
We all were destined to serve as the objects:
of the cruel emperor's pastimes:
So, here I am, unfortunate yet again:
So close to:
yet still separated from, the boy I love so much:
I like your tunic.
Let me try it on.
Give it to me...Give it to me.
He's so beautiful...
Spare him.
Oh, sweet beauty...come...close to me...
come to me...yes, come...
Your young body...
oh, yes, so smooth.
Oh, your eyes.
All this treasure is bound for Caesar...
but the most precious one is mine.
The victim's blood color brings us great joy.
The gods are favorable to this union.
Lichas, take your groom's hand.
Remember, you must be faithful to him forever.
And you, groom...
know that you must forget your past taste for young boys.
A husband takes no liberties.
You must dedicate your entire self to your bride forever.
May complete harmony and great happiness be yours.
Venus favors marriages held at sea.
Say the ritual words.
Happiness!
And the gods appeared to him, saying these words...
"If you want an equal fate...
you'll live half your life underground...
and half in heaven's golden dwellings."
But our good fortune didn't last for long:
We were nearing the fateful day of the June kalends:
Off the coast of Taunia, the island of Caesar's favorite residence:
there appeared, one morning, armed ships:
The tyrant is dead!
This innocent young lamb is going with us.
What's going on here?
This ship isn't yours anymore, Lichas.
Caesar is dead. The new Caesar is on his way.
We drowned your emperor like a pig.
Treacherous dogs!